I remember standing there in body armor, waiting for the ramp to open. When it was finally all the way down all I wished was that they'd shut it again. The heat that came pouring in made it feel like I was standing in the exhaust from a jet engine. Standing there in my body armor with my weapon and all my gear I remember thinking, "Holy crap! This is like a whole new world." Then I thought, "That was probably one of the most stupid thoughts I've ever had." The sun was blazing in my face after being in the semi darkness of the C-17 for hours on end. There was movement outside and I didn't know what to expect. We'd been briefed over and over again that the enemy might engage us as soon as we landed, so I was expecting the worst. Once my eyes adjusted though, all that came into view was some Air Force puke standing there in shorts and a t-shirt, the tarmace the aircraft ramp was resting on and the burnt out hulk of some LMTV that looked like someone had blown the hell out of it. Later, we all found out that supposedly some Marine had been so trigger happy when they landed that he put a M203 grenade round into the cab of the truck and that was why it was blown to shit.
I couldn't for the life of me tell you what that Airman said or why the hell he was there. All I knew, as I climbed on top of one of the shipping containers inside the aircraft, still wearing full battle rattle, was that I wished I could smash that guy in the face. It was hot, at least 120 degrees out, but I've found that once it hits 120 degrees and it's hard to breath, you really don't care if its 123 or 140. It all sucks the same. So, all of us were wearing something like 30 pounds of body armor, along with whatever else we werecarrying, and I was climbing on top of a container that I honestly don't remember the contents of. I know it didn't belong to Shops Platoon, but that's about it.
We got done unchaining everything from inside the aircraft, the containers, the trucks and whatever else there was and stepped onto the tarmac. Imagine looking out on a landscape you've never seen, with heat you couldn't have imagined, even in Texas in August, and even though your brain is telling you that this can't possibly be real, you are stepping into it all on solid ground. At that point, you really have to start thinking that, "Hey, this might actually be real. I might be awake and this might really be happening."
I don't really remember what happened next. I'm sure we got our containers unloaded with forklifts and drove the trucks off the aircraft. Then I figure, knowing the Army, they either took us to our tents and then to chow, or the other way around. I do remember laying all the rounds they gave us out on our racks and taking pictures of them. It may seem juvenile, but after going through seemingly limitless training the government hands you more live rounds than you've ever seen layed out at one time and tells you, "You might need these." Anyway, we took pictures of the ammo and acted like we were proud and nothing was out of the ordinary. I know at that moment that I did feel a certain sense of bravado, but that would definitely go away. Later, I just remember feeling confused and wishing that I could put every one of those rounds into the people who were raining mortars and RPG's down on us every night. Why the hell were they trying to kill me, or any of us for that matter, with their random mortars? I never did anything to them. Hell, if we could sit down over schwarma we might be friends. All I know is that I swore I would do whatever it took to support and defend our Constitution and that was what I was going to do. So, I did my job everyday, whatever that might be, and tried to sleep every night, wondering in the back of my mind whether or not tonight would be the night the mortars came for me or one of my brothers.
Sleep tight folks, if you can. God know's I can't anymore.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Next Book?!
I just sat down and started typing tonight and this is some of what I came up with. I was hesitant to post it, but here it is anyway. I haven't proof read it or edited it at all and it's only an excerpt, but we'll see......
"The way things work where I’m from, time is not necessarily a linear concept. In fact there are quite a few jokes where I am from based on the concept of three and four dimensions that people on earth use. Dimensions, like width, depth, height, time, etc. are only really an issue if you have to worry about physical density. When, or maybe I should say if, the people of earth finally separate themselves from their serious attachment to all things physical they’ll be able to understand too.
Let me try to explain it in the simplest way I can think of. If you have an aquarium you can only fill it up with just so much water, before it overflows. Why do you need water? To keep the fish you want as pets alive. Imagine if the fish don’t need water. Imagine if the only thing that matters is each entities will or consciousness. If the fish doesn’t have a body then it doesn’t need water, right? You’re probably asking, “Well if a fish doesn’t have a body then it’s not a fish is it?” My response to that is, “Really? How do you know?” Suspend your disbelief for a moment and imagine that you have a fish for a pet that has no body. It’s still a fish, because it was created as a fish and therefore that’s what it is. Since the fish has no body it doesn’t need water to exist.
It still needs energy yes, but it can gather that readily enough from the environment around it. Humans can’t see with their naked eyes the process that coral or algae go through to get nutrients. So, they eventually developed the “microscope” and gained the ability to watch what happens. Does that mean that before they had the microscope that algae and coral didn’t eat? Of course not. It just means that humans couldn’t see it. Let me try to explain this in terms that you humans may understand. If the entire universe and everything in it is a case of beer, then what humans know about it amounts to one drop of condensation that runs down the outside of one bottle of that case of beer. You get it now?
So, back to the fish. You have a fish that has no body and therefore no mass and cannot take up any space. The fish does need some type of energy to keep it going, but it can convert that from any number of sources, whether it’s the light from a star, the gases in the atmosphere where they are currently located, or whatever else may be readily available. Matter can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only change forms. So, to sum up. No body, which means it doesn’t need things, and it can get energy from any source available. As long as the fish’s will is strong enough it will maintain its integrity and continue to exist as a being. If not, then it was never meant to be and it will return to the “matter bank” to be used in some other way. I’m sure your little human brain is probably reeling in an attempt to understand all this, but just accept the premises I have stated and forget everything you have ever known. Seriously, take a minute if you need to, I’ll wait."
Hope you enjoyed the read and really hope that this turns into something significant.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It's More Fun Tilting at Windmills When The Windmills Tilt Back!
So, it's Saturday night, I'm watching the "Three Stooges" with my family and surfing the internet's many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many Literary Agent, Publishing House, and Author websites. I've come to a few conclusions, discovered a few absolute truths if you will, after reading all of the posts, advice, forums, and ads. Every Literary Agent is unreachable, the Publishing Houses don't actually publish anything, every Author is the next J.K. Rowling, just waiting to be discovered, and if I am willing to give just $1,000.00 to one of the companies in the ads they will find me an agent, get me published, and make me the next J.K. Rowling within a week or less. Those are all facts if you are willing to believe everything on the internet.
Take a second and go ahead and do a search on google for anything related to writing, how to get published, find an agent or anything anywhere near those topics. Seriously, go ahead and do a search, I'll wait... Ok, your back. See what I mean? All of the truly successful authors, although I've never heard of any of them, are completely willing to sell you or anyone else their book which contains all the secrets to how they got an agent, got published, and became the most successful author (that I've never heard of) ever.
There are a million (that may be a little exaggeration) forums and sites on how to write, how to promote your work, and how to become a huge success. Those forums and sites are all full of aspiring author's asking for and giving each other advice. Now, I'm not saying that some of them aren't proposing decent ideas, but I have yet to see anything that common sense didn't already tell me to do. Here's an example of how the forums go:
Can'tSpellGrammar(CSG): I am working on my first book and have the first chapter done. Is there anyone out there willing to read it and tell me what they think?
Can'tSpellGrammarEither(CSGE): I'll read it for you and give you my opinion, just email it to me. I have written three books that are supernatural/romance fiction works(translation - I, like everyone else, think I can copy the success of Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight series).
CSG: Great, thanks. I sent it to you. What can I do to get published and or promote my book?
CSGE: Make sure you set up a facebook page for your book, a blog for your book, and a webpage for your book. You can publish the work yourself through amazon.com or a million other less known sites. (J.E. Barrett's Note: Do not tell Smashwords that they need to rethink their advertising strategy for their authors because you've sold 170% more of one work on amazon.com than you have for all your works combined on smashwords. They get mad and kick you off the site.) You'll never get a publishing house to look at your work unless you get a literary agent. If you want to publish the books yourself without any support at all then you can use lulu or ,again, a million other sites.
CSG: Thanks again CSGE. Who should I get to make my website? How do I get word out about my facebook page, etc?
CSGE: I used brand name X webhosting for my site. A good way to get word out about your facebook page is to recruit your family and friends to spread the word. Another thing you can do is join website blah blah blah and put the word out there. (J.E. Barrett's Note: website blah blah blah is a website full of just slightly more aspiring authors than there are $1.00 bills in the current U.S. Deficit. All of them are trying to advertise their stuff, wait for it.....to each other.)
And that's pretty much how it goes. Instead of the blind leading the blind is more a case of the barely literate leading the barely literate. I am not suggesting that I am even in the same metaphorical state as the great authors, but some of these people are awful. I have had people ask me to read something and after the first page I had to email them and tell them it was too much work for me to try to decipher whatever pigeon english they were using.
Still, I find the entire subculture slightly disheartening and very ironic. They seem like nice enough people, but it's as if all the eskimos in the world are trying to sell snow to each other. None of them need the snow the other Eskimos are selling because the snow they have to sell is way better than everybody else's. For a nominal fee though, they'll tell you everything you need to know about how to make the best snow ever and become a millionaire.
Now, that being said, I am going to offer all the extensive knowledge I've learned over the last two months with you for free.
Step 1: Work you ass off writing the best book you can. Just start writing the thing. Don't edit it as you go unless you need to make changes to fit the plot. Then, have people you trust to be honest with you, read it and tell you what they think. If ten people say it sucks or something needs changed then you might want to listen to them. Get the work as polished as you can, but at some point you have to let go. No matter what, you will never think it is good enough and there will always be things you want to change.
Step 2: Find a site like amazon or another that you can live with to publish your work. None of them are perfect. You have to give something to get something. In Amazon's case, that means that they are going to take their chunk off the top, and it's a bigger chunk than I get believe me. However, I knew the deal going in and I can pull my stuff at anytime.
Step 3: Advertise your butt off. You thought writing the book was work, hah. That was the easy part. Some people say to have a whole marketing plan and get the word out before your book is published, but that's not how I did it, so it falls as step number 3 for me. Get the word out any way you can. I would like to thank my family and every friend I have for supporting me in this endeavor. It means a lot. A little tip here though; if you go to a whole lot of pages on facebook, no matter how horribly commercial those pages are, and post the link to your book, then you will get labeled a spammer on facebook and not be allowed to post on there. I have sent press releases to every newspaper I could think of that might run it. For the papers in Ohio they mentioned I went to school there. For those in Maine they stressed that I'm from there. I left one of my paperbacks, complete with all my facebook, amazon, and website info inside the front cover, in a local Barnes & Noble store. Right now I'm thinking about getting some cheap business cards printed up and leaving them in books similar to mine at Barnes & Noble, libraries, you name it. I have become a promotion machine and I've decided that if I ever make any real money at this the first person I'm going to hire is someone to take care of all of it.
Step 4: Try to find time to write some other stuff. I haven't run out of ideas yet, but we all know time is a precious commodity. (Yes, I know I spent a lot of time typing this blog that I could have spent writing other stuff.) So, write when you can.
Now, add up all the hours you have spent writing, advertising, blogging, facebooking, editing, formatting. Then, take the amount of money you have made and divide it by the number of hours. You will see that you have been paying yourself a massive salary of around $0.19/hour. That's with a conservative estimate on the number of hours, but you get the idea. Now, am I complaining? Not at all. I have discovered a love of writing again. I enjoy doing it. I get an idea in my head and I do the best I can to get it down on paper and do it a little better each time. Am I going to get rich doing it? Probably not, with so many people competing for the same readers and money. Does that mean I am going to stop? Hell no. I'm going to keep doing this as long as I can whether anybody buys my books or not. I'll set a record as the author with the most books on amazon that nobody has bought a copy of. Doesn't matter. I didn't do this to get rich. I wouldn't turn it down, but money is not why I did it. I did it for all the intangibles it gives me. If you are reading this, I hope that you find something that gives you as much satisfaction as this has brought me.
Take a second and go ahead and do a search on google for anything related to writing, how to get published, find an agent or anything anywhere near those topics. Seriously, go ahead and do a search, I'll wait... Ok, your back. See what I mean? All of the truly successful authors, although I've never heard of any of them, are completely willing to sell you or anyone else their book which contains all the secrets to how they got an agent, got published, and became the most successful author (that I've never heard of) ever.
There are a million (that may be a little exaggeration) forums and sites on how to write, how to promote your work, and how to become a huge success. Those forums and sites are all full of aspiring author's asking for and giving each other advice. Now, I'm not saying that some of them aren't proposing decent ideas, but I have yet to see anything that common sense didn't already tell me to do. Here's an example of how the forums go:
Can'tSpellGrammar(CSG): I am working on my first book and have the first chapter done. Is there anyone out there willing to read it and tell me what they think?
Can'tSpellGrammarEither(CSGE): I'll read it for you and give you my opinion, just email it to me. I have written three books that are supernatural/romance fiction works(translation - I, like everyone else, think I can copy the success of Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight series).
CSG: Great, thanks. I sent it to you. What can I do to get published and or promote my book?
CSGE: Make sure you set up a facebook page for your book, a blog for your book, and a webpage for your book. You can publish the work yourself through amazon.com or a million other less known sites. (J.E. Barrett's Note: Do not tell Smashwords that they need to rethink their advertising strategy for their authors because you've sold 170% more of one work on amazon.com than you have for all your works combined on smashwords. They get mad and kick you off the site.) You'll never get a publishing house to look at your work unless you get a literary agent. If you want to publish the books yourself without any support at all then you can use lulu or ,again, a million other sites.
CSG: Thanks again CSGE. Who should I get to make my website? How do I get word out about my facebook page, etc?
CSGE: I used brand name X webhosting for my site. A good way to get word out about your facebook page is to recruit your family and friends to spread the word. Another thing you can do is join website blah blah blah and put the word out there. (J.E. Barrett's Note: website blah blah blah is a website full of just slightly more aspiring authors than there are $1.00 bills in the current U.S. Deficit. All of them are trying to advertise their stuff, wait for it.....to each other.)
And that's pretty much how it goes. Instead of the blind leading the blind is more a case of the barely literate leading the barely literate. I am not suggesting that I am even in the same metaphorical state as the great authors, but some of these people are awful. I have had people ask me to read something and after the first page I had to email them and tell them it was too much work for me to try to decipher whatever pigeon english they were using.
Still, I find the entire subculture slightly disheartening and very ironic. They seem like nice enough people, but it's as if all the eskimos in the world are trying to sell snow to each other. None of them need the snow the other Eskimos are selling because the snow they have to sell is way better than everybody else's. For a nominal fee though, they'll tell you everything you need to know about how to make the best snow ever and become a millionaire.
Now, that being said, I am going to offer all the extensive knowledge I've learned over the last two months with you for free.
Step 1: Work you ass off writing the best book you can. Just start writing the thing. Don't edit it as you go unless you need to make changes to fit the plot. Then, have people you trust to be honest with you, read it and tell you what they think. If ten people say it sucks or something needs changed then you might want to listen to them. Get the work as polished as you can, but at some point you have to let go. No matter what, you will never think it is good enough and there will always be things you want to change.
Step 2: Find a site like amazon or another that you can live with to publish your work. None of them are perfect. You have to give something to get something. In Amazon's case, that means that they are going to take their chunk off the top, and it's a bigger chunk than I get believe me. However, I knew the deal going in and I can pull my stuff at anytime.
Step 3: Advertise your butt off. You thought writing the book was work, hah. That was the easy part. Some people say to have a whole marketing plan and get the word out before your book is published, but that's not how I did it, so it falls as step number 3 for me. Get the word out any way you can. I would like to thank my family and every friend I have for supporting me in this endeavor. It means a lot. A little tip here though; if you go to a whole lot of pages on facebook, no matter how horribly commercial those pages are, and post the link to your book, then you will get labeled a spammer on facebook and not be allowed to post on there. I have sent press releases to every newspaper I could think of that might run it. For the papers in Ohio they mentioned I went to school there. For those in Maine they stressed that I'm from there. I left one of my paperbacks, complete with all my facebook, amazon, and website info inside the front cover, in a local Barnes & Noble store. Right now I'm thinking about getting some cheap business cards printed up and leaving them in books similar to mine at Barnes & Noble, libraries, you name it. I have become a promotion machine and I've decided that if I ever make any real money at this the first person I'm going to hire is someone to take care of all of it.
Step 4: Try to find time to write some other stuff. I haven't run out of ideas yet, but we all know time is a precious commodity. (Yes, I know I spent a lot of time typing this blog that I could have spent writing other stuff.) So, write when you can.
Now, add up all the hours you have spent writing, advertising, blogging, facebooking, editing, formatting. Then, take the amount of money you have made and divide it by the number of hours. You will see that you have been paying yourself a massive salary of around $0.19/hour. That's with a conservative estimate on the number of hours, but you get the idea. Now, am I complaining? Not at all. I have discovered a love of writing again. I enjoy doing it. I get an idea in my head and I do the best I can to get it down on paper and do it a little better each time. Am I going to get rich doing it? Probably not, with so many people competing for the same readers and money. Does that mean I am going to stop? Hell no. I'm going to keep doing this as long as I can whether anybody buys my books or not. I'll set a record as the author with the most books on amazon that nobody has bought a copy of. Doesn't matter. I didn't do this to get rich. I wouldn't turn it down, but money is not why I did it. I did it for all the intangibles it gives me. If you are reading this, I hope that you find something that gives you as much satisfaction as this has brought me.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Taylor Swift, Oral Sex, Kathy Griffin, the Rose Parade, Harry Styles, kissing, and Anderson Cooper
Hello everyone. Happy New Year to you all! I am going to try something new today. I looked up the top searches and stories today and will include them in my blog to see if it increases my readership. I think that it also says a little something about our society. Just a side note; the pluses in front of people names are supposed to increase my blogs visibility or something. We'll see.
So, I know you've been anxiously sitting there on the edge of your seat wondering, "J.E., tell us oh wise one of the top searches and topics of today. Tell us what amazing and intellectually stimulating things people searched for today."
Well, why don't you calm down there little fella and let me tell you what they are. Whether you subscribe to evolution, which states that homo sapien has been around for about 250,000 years, or creationism, which says we've been here for between 6,000 and 10,000 years, I think we can all agree on one thing. The human race has been around long enough that we have had time to develop some pretty lofty and noble ideas. So, what are the top searches of the first day of 2013?
1. +Taylor Swift - She kissed some guy on TV on New Years Eve apparently.
2. Clemson beat LSU at the Chick Fil-A bowl. Ok, so what?
3. +Kathy Griffin - Who apparently simulated oral sex on +Anderson Cooper, again on TV, during some networks New Years Eve show.
4. The Rose Parade - which, lets be honest....is a freaking parade!
5. The Fiscal Cliff - The financial crisis our country is facing, the fact that Republicans are not happy with the current plan, and that it may not pass. Did I mention that Congress, once again, has decided that they are definitely giving themselves raises.
I am so angered by all this that I don't even know where to start. Should I start with the fact that apparently our country was more concerned today with who Taylor Swift was kissing, a football game, a comedian pretending to give oral sex to a reporter, and a parade than we were with whether or not the politicians we elected to represent us are doing anything to control the national debt or come up with a budget. Or should I start with the fact that the greedy bastards in Washington have voted to give themselves all a raise while trying to cut military retiree benefits in order to save money. I personally plan on finding out if any of the Ohio Congress people voted for this raise and starting a strong anti-them campaign. I am going to blast it out everywhere. I mean where does anyone with a vote in D.C. get off giving themselves a raise? We scream to the high heavens when a the leaders of a company in financial trouble give themselves a raise while workers are getting laid off. I've got knews for you. The United States is not just a country, it's also one of the biggest businesses on the planet, and all the people who can't find work right now. They are basically just laid off employees. Get the picture?
So, what can I, as a private citizen, do about it other than rant on my blog, which only 3 people read yesterday apparently? Very damn little. I can vote for the people I think should be in office and write letters and that is about it. Pretty damn sad isnt it?
I bet though if I put some stuff on the internet about Taylor Swift kissing some guy in the middle of the Chic-Fil-A bowl, while Kathy Griffin pretended to give Anderson Cooper oral sex in the middle of the Rose Parade that it would go viral in about 2 hours. Throw in some Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and I'd have solid gold. Why does anyone care about those two anyway? What has Kim Kardashian ever done with her life? And Kanye West, I don't believe that anyone really gives a shit what that ignorant moron says and I wish someone who has access to him would have the balls to tell him that. Did I mention that those two idiots are apparently bringing another life into the world? This kids gonna have a diamond encrusted pacifier before it leaves the hospital, but I bet it never learns to tie it's own shoes or change a flat. Now, the Mayans may have been wrong about the end of the world. There calendars cyclical by they way. You know, in a circle? So, it doesn't really have an end from what I understand. It just starts over. Anyway, all the stupid people may have been wrong about the end of the world coming, but surely the top news stories of the 1st day of 2013 is a clear sign that the end of the world is nigh. With that I will leave you little kiddies. Sleep well if you can and if you can't sleep well then join the club.
So, I know you've been anxiously sitting there on the edge of your seat wondering, "J.E., tell us oh wise one of the top searches and topics of today. Tell us what amazing and intellectually stimulating things people searched for today."
Well, why don't you calm down there little fella and let me tell you what they are. Whether you subscribe to evolution, which states that homo sapien has been around for about 250,000 years, or creationism, which says we've been here for between 6,000 and 10,000 years, I think we can all agree on one thing. The human race has been around long enough that we have had time to develop some pretty lofty and noble ideas. So, what are the top searches of the first day of 2013?
1. +Taylor Swift - She kissed some guy on TV on New Years Eve apparently.
2. Clemson beat LSU at the Chick Fil-A bowl. Ok, so what?
3. +Kathy Griffin - Who apparently simulated oral sex on +Anderson Cooper, again on TV, during some networks New Years Eve show.
4. The Rose Parade - which, lets be honest....is a freaking parade!
5. The Fiscal Cliff - The financial crisis our country is facing, the fact that Republicans are not happy with the current plan, and that it may not pass. Did I mention that Congress, once again, has decided that they are definitely giving themselves raises.
I am so angered by all this that I don't even know where to start. Should I start with the fact that apparently our country was more concerned today with who Taylor Swift was kissing, a football game, a comedian pretending to give oral sex to a reporter, and a parade than we were with whether or not the politicians we elected to represent us are doing anything to control the national debt or come up with a budget. Or should I start with the fact that the greedy bastards in Washington have voted to give themselves all a raise while trying to cut military retiree benefits in order to save money. I personally plan on finding out if any of the Ohio Congress people voted for this raise and starting a strong anti-them campaign. I am going to blast it out everywhere. I mean where does anyone with a vote in D.C. get off giving themselves a raise? We scream to the high heavens when a the leaders of a company in financial trouble give themselves a raise while workers are getting laid off. I've got knews for you. The United States is not just a country, it's also one of the biggest businesses on the planet, and all the people who can't find work right now. They are basically just laid off employees. Get the picture?
So, what can I, as a private citizen, do about it other than rant on my blog, which only 3 people read yesterday apparently? Very damn little. I can vote for the people I think should be in office and write letters and that is about it. Pretty damn sad isnt it?
I bet though if I put some stuff on the internet about Taylor Swift kissing some guy in the middle of the Chic-Fil-A bowl, while Kathy Griffin pretended to give Anderson Cooper oral sex in the middle of the Rose Parade that it would go viral in about 2 hours. Throw in some Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and I'd have solid gold. Why does anyone care about those two anyway? What has Kim Kardashian ever done with her life? And Kanye West, I don't believe that anyone really gives a shit what that ignorant moron says and I wish someone who has access to him would have the balls to tell him that. Did I mention that those two idiots are apparently bringing another life into the world? This kids gonna have a diamond encrusted pacifier before it leaves the hospital, but I bet it never learns to tie it's own shoes or change a flat. Now, the Mayans may have been wrong about the end of the world. There calendars cyclical by they way. You know, in a circle? So, it doesn't really have an end from what I understand. It just starts over. Anyway, all the stupid people may have been wrong about the end of the world coming, but surely the top news stories of the 1st day of 2013 is a clear sign that the end of the world is nigh. With that I will leave you little kiddies. Sleep well if you can and if you can't sleep well then join the club.
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